Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sibling2]

Hi community! 
I decided to reach out here because I’ve recently been struggling a lot with the mental issues of my family members. I’m 27 years old, the younger sister of a schizophrenic & bipolar brother who is addicted to heroine and the daughter of a schizophrenic father. Recently I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed with the task to be a mental support for my mother, and all the family. As a professional athlete I also have some additional pressure to keep up the positivity, and stay strong at all times. 
At this moment though, I feel weak, and I’m not sure how to get all this strength back that I need to keep things running.

I would appreciate it if someone could give me some advice/ tell me about their own experiences and ways to gain back that energy.

Best regards 

[Miss-wish]

Hi @Sibling2  and welcome to SANE,

I really want to give you a virtual hug and let you know how strong you are.

I don't know anything about schizophrenia or bipolar, but I do know how hard it is to juggle multiply people's need and hold it all together for the outside world. Please remember your own self-care and to find a way to let out the frustrations and stress that builds up.

what do you do for you? do you go for a walk? video game? paint ? take a bath? please tell me it's not an ice bath lol 

It is or not to have it all together, be kind to yourself. It has taken me a lifetime to learn that and I wish I had know sooner.

I'm here if you would like to talk

[Tilz]

@Sibling2  ❤️ me too will send you a hug.  You are so strong character .please hold that up. 

Hope you can change the situation. just give a try . Have a good sleep. Go for a evening walk. Do you have a pet? It will be great if you have.

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Sibling2 

Good on you for reaching out. It's not easy to do, especially when you feel or are seen as the 'strong one'. 

You're not alone, and it's ok to feel! It sounds like it's a lot for you and your family to deal with. You aren't responsible for everybody else though. Nor do you have to 'keep it all together'. That's way too much pressure for one person. 

I have spent time in hospitals with family members due to their substance use issues, terrified/angry/compartmentalised over the years, never knowing what would happen next. One of the things I've learnt is that balance is a key factor in care for self and others. In how we relate to our physical health, our emotions, etc.

Taking care of yourself and setting firm boundaries for your well-being, while allowing people the right to their own choices and consequences is not always easy. It's a practice. 

There are professional services which may be able to offer support to your family members? Have you linked in with any substance use counselling services? Speaking to your GP is another avenue. Being able to talk it out and get some guidance from people who have had intensive experience in these areas could really help you to navigate some of the challenges, and lighten the load for you all. 

Don't forget, you deserve to be happy! It's ok to grieve/heal and smile in such a complex situation ~ 🥲 💗

[Jasper_123]

Hi @Sibling2 , it sounds like you have an incredible amount on your plate at the moment. What sport are you an athlete in? 

I think my main recommendation is for you to learn strong boundaries within your family dynamics. You cannot always be on 24/7 call to help your family members. You cannot support others without filling up your own cup. What do you do to practice self care? Whose supporting you?