Suicide vs suicidal

[The-red-centaur]

It was world suicide prevention day yesterday. It's interesting to see all the cliche stuff about how people care and want you alive. It makes it feel worse not better. No one cares now/ no one cared when I have attempted in the past. 

I made an attempt 4 years ago. I'm not allowed to say what I went through  in case it triggers people. So much for no more silence and shame. People only seem to say something if you succeed and you're just a burden if your suicidal. 

I don't want to be this burden anymore

[chibam]

I agree, @The-red-centaur . Things haven't gotten any better, but that truth has been masked by a media campaign proclaiming (to the general public) that things are getting better. But we still can't really talk about it, can we? At least, not in any fashion that will accomplish anything.

Not all that long ago, I used to shake my head every time I watched "The Naked Gun" or "Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Pt.1", as both these movies featured non-explicit suicides or suicide attempts that were clumsily edited out of the broadcast; throwing the context of the whole scene into disarray. It's my understanding that the broadcasting rights for these movies have passed over to a different network and, on my last viewing of both of them, I believe the movies were intact.

But what kind of message does that send to the general public? "Suicide is a very delicate, sensitive topic, and we must not acknowledge it at all."? Both of the above are very popular, famous movies, and there are no doubt scores of fans who will immediately notice the conspicuous absence of the respective suicide scenes. Gestures like those make me feel like we're sliding backwards, not forwards. In many ways, suicide seems to have become more taboo now then it ever was before.

Once upon a time, the media (both journalistic and fictional) simply acknowledged suicide as a real phenomenon. The spoke frankly, if with biased perspectives. Now, everything in the media is governed by "official guidelines", and everybody seems afraid to speak about it at all. Very Orwellian, IMHO. The powers-that-be preach the importance of "talking about suicide", while refusing to talk about it. The ministry of openness rigorously inforces silence.

I often wonder what it must be like in Canada, these days, where their MAID laws are now beginning to open up suicide as an option for pretty much anybody who wants to die. In a land where suicide itself is perfectly acceptable and legitimate, surely open dialogue about it must also be permissible?

[MissLil]

Hi @The-red-centaur I am truly sorry you feel that no one cares, from the bottom of my heart I care and i am not just saying that. I understand that often it feels like our head is telling us that and often it isnt until someone actually is no longer with us do people tend to expressing how they feel but that often comes from regret for not showing those feelings and care factor while others are still with us. 

There is such a big stigma around suicide/suicidal and on the social side of people only sharing/reposting on certain days like RU OK day or world suicide prevention day but there is also a wide community trying to help break the stigma and encourage others to be more self conscious of the importance of showing up for others everyday not just on certain days. 

I hope this post finds you well and helps to show that you are cared for.

[fluffylight]

Hi @The-red-centaur 

Holding lots of space and care for you 💛 I can hear that you are carrying so much. It sounds like a lot is coming up for you as you observe the cliches that world suicide prevention day brings.

Its so important that you know you are cared for. What you are sharing is so important, it is something that needs to be bought into the light more. I really feel what you're saying. I wonder if people don't have the tools to sit with people when theres a part of them who are suicidal and may only have the tools to celebrate if you get past it. But there is hope in that not everyone is like that as @MissLil has bought to our attention. 

I want to remind you that by going through these things, it does not make you a burden 💛 

How are you keeping yourself cared for and safe?

Have you heard of Alt2Su – NSW (alt2su-nsw.net)? It is a weekly online peer based support group, I have attached the flyer. I have only heard great things. 

Please keep reaching out 💛 here to chat 

I am sending so many hugs your way and so much light that may be dimmed by the darkness 🦋

fluffylight x

[wellwellwellnez]

Yeah. I've had similar gripes about "RUOK Day". I think days of raising money/awareness for causes. It's a bit more professional-like. Everyone's got positive parts to play. But, like you say, people don't just magically become prevention/intervention experts because that's the day that it is. If it were that easy, it wouldn't be necessary.

Holy smokes! I just looked up the Suicide Prevention Day website. One of the thing's I said is like their slogan this year. "We all have a role to play" I added a "but" before I even read it. Or, maybe I caught one of the promotions sub-consciously. Or, maybe from last year's. The site says the theme is continuing from last year. Apparently people had roles to play back then as well.

Thanks for raising one-day-belated awareness, anyways. What roles we'll all play does remain an interesting question.

[Historylover]

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could have a 'Lets actually give a damn day'. Or even make it a way of life? 

[The-red-centaur]

Thank you everyone for the thought out answers. I want to type a thought out response. But I just don't have one.

I'm tired and worn out and just want an excuse to be triggered enough to suicide. I feel like my life is so superficial and these prevention campaigns just feel even more superficial and a thing thrown in your face so people can tick a box saying they're trying. I gerl like no one actually tries for my life. No one cares enough to actually ask hey, whats up.

I know you all are trying though. That's something I guess.

[Historylover]

I know how you feel @The-red-centaur or feel I understand a little. I'm in hospital and everyone is so damned artificially cheerful. Life isn't like that. I'm just not going to bother. Mindless chatter only fills a day, it doesn't help my situation. I hope we're able to find some cheer in our day, @The-red-centaur. 

[Owlunar]

I don't really have a thought-out answer - just that I am pretty sure that if people want to complete suicide they will - I have lost two members of my family to suicide and there was nothing I could do to stop it - that was a cousin and my son - they were determined.

Then there are people who feel suicidal - where is the help for them - I get it that the system is overloaded and getting help is really hard - and expensive. I have no answer - I just know two members of my family faced this years ago and whatever they did for help didn't work.

I have physical challenges in my life - and work hard to maintain my independence. Resilience can be learned - that's not easy either.

So - I hear you - I get it - 

One thing that bugs me is that nearly every day someone tells me to "have a wonderful day, afternoon, evening - whatever" - I really feel irritated by this - I will have the best day I can but it might be an uphill battle. I might just have other plans. I do not like being ordered.

So yes - what can we do but the best we can and sometimes that is just slogging through.

So - I care.

Owlunar

[The-red-centaur]

I'm tired I can't fight anymore