Lived Experience Forum

[Anastasia]

Really, really, really hope you're ok beautiful. Today you have been particularly quiet and I have been knee deep in work so not attentive by any standard, I'm sorry. I care, I am concerned, I love you @Emelia8 

Hoping you had a yummy dinner and were able to put your feet up with Holly tonight.

May sleep come easy for you.

P.S I had you here in spirit for your ham and pineapple pizza ☺️🍕

Hugs and love Em 💞

[Zoe7]

@Emelia8 I can imagine your life right now is not only really difficult but very confusing. The loss of anyone in our lives is heartbreaking but losing the one person that has given you a reason to keep going for so long is just devastating. It will take time for you to get through this and adjust your life as you have known it for so long but looking after yourself the best way you can right now (and little Holly of course) is all that you need to do. I know it is hard for you to reach out for support when you need it but know that we and your support team are very much thinking of you ad here to hold your hand along the way - no-one should (or needs to) go this alone. Take the time you need to be with yourself if that is what is best for you but also know that everyone here is holding space for you whenever and however you can be here. 

Grief and loss is such a dark beast to live with and it is only in your time that you can work through this. Life will never be the same again but as you work through your loss and the pain from that also recognise your own strength, your own needs and your own desires going forward. Nothing will change the loss you have suffered but living each day the best you can, honouring your H with every step and finding those things now that are just for you all help with the grieving process.

I kknow that pain of losing someone so important to us and the time it takes to not only believe it but live with it each day. I can though only imagine how hard it is for you losing the one person in your life that you have cared for, lived for and your entire life revolved. I can also only imagine not knowing what the future holds being on your own when you have been with your H for so long...but what I can say is that you are more than your relationship and more than all you have always identified with as part of that relationship. Be you Hon - whatever that may be. Find those things you have enjoyed, hold onto every ray of light you can find and re-connect with yourself and all that is amazing about you. When you are ready - rebuild yourself bit by bit in the image you imagine yourself to be, reach out for help from every hand that is offered and know that in time (and with help) you can find a way forward.

Hugs and hugs and hugs @Emelia8 and one for Holly 🐶

[Appleblossom]

Little signs that you are around (likes or posts) give a little rise in my heart.  You matter

@Emelia8 

[Anastasia]

@Emelia8 

🧚‍♀️🧚‍♂️🌼💐🌷🌺🌸🌻🐶🐾🙏💕🤗👀👂

[Anastasia]

Sitting with you my precious sister ❣️

@Emelia8 👀👂

[Anastasia]

Me again... your crazy sister 😃😋

Wanted you to wake to these. Hoping they will brighten your day just a teeny bit. Come with me tomorrow?

We are off to the local shops to see what awaits. Pick you up about 1130am sweet sister 🙏

@Emelia8

[Emelia8]

Thank you everyone.  Really appreciate all your messages.  Sorry I am not able to respond individually, or even to tag everyone.  Too many of you ... which is truly touching.  💓

I'm sorry I havent been around.  Life is just really difficult right now.  Everything is difficult ... getting up in the mornings, eating, sleeping, breathing.  Honestly, performing the basics of life should not be this hard!  I'm sure it will get easier, but right now ... everything is just too hard.

This past week I have tried to instill some (new) normality into my life.  I even got to my Pilates class on Tuesday, the first time in a month.  I saw my oncologist on Monday and she told me how important it is to keep up with my exercise program ... both for my post surgery and radiation therapy recovery as well as for ongoing wellbeing.  So I am trying.

Its mothers day today.  I hope all the Mums out there are doing something special .. because as Mums you are special and deserve to be celebrated.  I'm not a Mum sadly.  My stepson and stepdaughter have their own Mum.  I have my dear little Holly 🐶 of course.  I'm her Mum, but I'm afraid I'm not doing a great job of looking after her.  She still has the cough and breathing difficulties, which is a constant worry.  But the vet does not know what is causing it. 

My own Mum died in July 2019, so this is now my second Mothers Day without my Mum. Just another sad day for me, amongst many sad days of late. Mourning and grief is a debilitating process.  It clearly brings home to me just how much I have lost recently ... the two people whom I was closest to in life ... firstly my Mum and now my Husband.  Life can be pretty cruel sometimes, and just downright unfair!

I'm sorry my post is so negative ... but thats just life for me right now.  Thank you everyone for your support.

Emelia 💔😔

[Anastasia]

Em, no words suffice so just love, and to let you know I hear you sweetheart 💞

@Emelia8 

[NatureLover]

Dear @Emelia8 , am so sorry about your double grief this Mothers Day. It must be simply overwhelming 😞

Thank you for the energy it took to make that post above. Things sound so very, very hard. I'm just so sorry to hear. I know it's expected, with losing such an important person, important people in your hubby and your mum. We are here for you, dear @Emelia8 💜

[Snowie]

Dear @Emelia8 

Sending lots of love and strength to you today.

💜💜💜