The magic of tidying

[Shaz51]

Hugs ❤️ @Dimity 

I have been awake since 3am 

Not a good night for hubby 

Had tears early this morning too

Load of washing on 

Couch would now fit in her car , so we will take it there for her 

@Ru-bee 

[Dimity]

Hugs 🫂 to you too @Shaz51 

I have a late load of washing on too

It's good you could help out with the transport 

Hope you can power down this afternoon 

[Dimity]

Winter solstice yesterday. The days are starting to lengthen. I'll try again to set up a regular practice. I want to make room for things currently in storage. 

[Oaktree]

@Dimity @Shaz51 @Glisten @TAB @tyme 

I am glad the days are starting to lengthen again. I am looking forward to some sunnier days. Don’t like the summer heat though! Spring is where its at.

[tyme]

Me too @Oaktree ! I'll get more done that way! I love daylight savings to be honest.

[Dimity]

Hello @Shaz51 @NatureLover @tyme and fellow travellers on the decluttering journey.

Howdy @Oaktree @TAB @Appleblossom @Till23 .

How are you going with cleaning/tidying/decluttering/repairing/renovating?

I just clocked up the anniversary of my retirement and I've failed. Or maybe I just haven't succeeded yet. Looking back I've offloaded a lot of stuff, just not enough yet.  

A widowed friend downsized a couple of years with professional help and is now renovating the new place. My self-efficacy to do something similar is zero but I'm envious. 

Today I lined up a quote to repair or replace the back fence. Maybe that's a start. 

The house clutter is another story, it evokes so many memories and disappointments. But old hobbies and interests are buried there too. I've been trying to deal with it for a long time but recurrent family dramas and my patchy MH have got in the way. 

Does anyone have any suggestions re goal setting? I often set a timer. I wish I could visualise what I want to achieve instead.

@AuntGlow I'm paralysed by fear and indecision and very isolated, which is self-perpetuating. 

[AuntGlow]

Hello lovely! 

Feeling paralysed by fear, indecision, and isolation must feel so vulnerable... please know that this would only seem 'self-perpetuating' because your nervous system/subconscious mind don't have enough accessible experiences of the opposite yet. So please be gentle with yourself here, it takes time. 💛 @Dimity 

Re: goal setting... that is kind of why I started the intention setting thread! It's a gentler form of goal setting where we can learn to keep ourselves accountable over time. 

However, one strategy I really love is 'one small promise a day'. 

This is a practice of setting one very small and achievable goal for yourself each day, to help rebuild capacity and self-trust. Each day/week/month (whenever you feel ready), you can make them 'harder'. But they won't really feel as hard as they do now, because you will have been slowly building your tolerance for challenge and discomfort.

So for example, you might set the promise to drink a full glass of water today and walk around the block next week... but in a few months' time, you could be painting your fence.  Does that make sense? Let me know your thoughts. ☺️

[Till23]

Hi @Dimity trying to do something that has been on your to-do list for a long time is hard.

I am setting myself small goals in the decluttering area.

I am able to clean and tidy my house and yard ok, but when it comes to the "junk rooms" and Dad's stuff I haven't done anywhere near as well. I have done some of Dad's stuff using very small goals - like take his unused tablets to chemist for disposal. Throw out the definitely not donatable clothes.

I also try to use the do something you don't like for a short while, then something you do like. Sometimes both of them are actually cleaning/tidying/garden etc. like I'll vaccum a few rooms and then do something in garden, then go back to vacuuming etc. I am going to try to do that with decluttering but I might do a crosswor puzzle foe 10mins between decluttering sessions.

I am also trying to do the Don't put it down, put it away method. For example when you come home don't put the letters or whatever down somewhere actually open them and file them, or put away all the shopping straight away, don't put it down "just for now". Then clutter doesn't build up. I'm reasonably good at that but when it's cold or it's late etc it's hard.

[Dimity]

Thanks @AuntGlow "one small promise a day" to rebuild capacity and self-trust would hit the spot. Thanks for expressing it like that. My confidence in my self-efficacy is very low.

I've been working on basic routines - I walk every day and mostly try to keep up with chores. But I do need to extend myself if I'm going to progress.

[Dimity]

@Till23 I've been trying to chip away at my build-up for years, and have made significant progress overall, but haven't really moved forward for quite a while. It's been an effort just to keep up with the daily quotidian. 

Well done on the small things with your dad's stuff. Sometimes there's a sort of circling around stuff to see where to begin, and it's partly an emotional readying. 

I was reminded yesterday of some of the family conflict and legal threats associated with my late father's passing, and remembered how hard it was to revisit and cull some of the papers and other things associated with that time. I still have a substantial backlog to address, and will need to start again somewhere. 

I'll only be able to do it piecemeal. I'll have to identify do-able chunks, whether time-based or item-wise or by location.