I can’t cope

[Ru-bee]

That sounds like a good way to start the day @Captain24 I have gotten into the habit of opening all the curtains first thing when I wake up so I can at least see a bit of sunlight (when there is some) to help wake me up.

We're definitely in your corner! We're all here for you

[Captain24]

It’s hard to open the blinds here. It’s in the minus’ in the mornings so it’s just too cold. @Ru-bee Its literally freezing. 

I’ll just need to rug up and maybe come back in and have a shower. It may work. I dont know but I have to try. 

Thanks for being in my corner. 

[Ru-bee]

I'll try it too @Captain24 when I take Toby out in the morning to di his business I'll rug up and go stand out there with him until his done. Then we can both see we go with it...hot shower right after sounds like a very good idea

Well I'm off for the night but I'll report back in the morning! 

[Captain24]

Thank you. @Ru-bee. An accountability buddy… thanks for today. Have a good night

[Captain24]

4. Dog parent and I don’t have to worry about 5. I didn’t deserve to have kids anyway. 

[rav3n]

hey @Captain24 !!! nice to see you around 😊

those are some valid fears to have. often times, having those fears also show that you care heaps - people who fear being a bad parents tend to be the ones who work harder to be good parents. or at least that's what i've noticed! you're such a good dog parent to them 💙

[Captain24]

Hey @rav3n 

Haven't seen you for a while. 

They are all fears I live with everyday. It was good to see I wasn’t the only one. 

Sometimes I’m not sure I am. But they must think differently. I’m on the lounge and I have one on each side. Plus I have the heater going on high so that Jett isn’t cold. 

How are you going? 

[rav3n]

it is heavy to have those fears everyday, but i'm glad you know you're not alone @Captain24 

so valid to have those doubts, but i reckon Jett and Pix adore ya. i wish the heater in my room was working!! i gotta wait a week to get it fixed 😅

i'm doing alright, just layered up and caffeinated haha. how about you?

[Captain24]

Oh no heater sucks @rav3n. I’m sure you are layered up. I would be. Is it really cold there? Tonight’s a little warmer it’s 5 degrees. 

They’re not going to adore me tomorrow when I give them a bath! 

I had a rough psych appointment today which has left me with some open wounds. I’m not suppose to look into my feelings until I see her next but she has rattled the box and some are coming out. 

I googled SAD and I tick all the boxes. What I thought was ‘normal’ winter behaviour is apparently not ‘normal’

Im pretty low at the moment. But I’m safe as I don’t have the energy or motivation to act on any thoughts. My psych said that that was exhaustion. She said to me that I’m really depleted. 

[rav3n]

@Captain24 yep, i'm absolutely layered up! i bought some extra hoodies in preparation for this year's winter hehe. my weather app says "8 degrees but it feels like 4" 😆

haha, good luck with the showering, hope they're not too much trouble to wash up! 

ohh i see, keeping the box 'closed' till the next visit does sound quite challenging. when do you see her next? does 'dropping the anchor' help with these thoughts/feelings flowing through?

it can be a conflicting feel, hey? realising you tick all the boxes but also that these boxes means you've been dealing with something for so long and little support in the SAD area? 

thanks for letting us know you're safe. that exhaustion does sound intense, do you have a lot on this week? hopefully you're able to rest up!! i gotta hop off now but i'll be around tomorrow to chat more. take care and good night 💙