I can’t cope

[tyme]

For some reason, I'm buzzing @Captain24 . I am 'feeling' what it is to have walked outside in the cold. I reckon I'd like to do that.

But I know my niece is coming over soon.

I think going outside is not so much about feeling awake, but just a bit of a circuit breaker. When you are made to 'feel' the bitterness of the cold outside, and feel the cold wind moving through your windpipes, it can be so grounding... may even need to do it without shoes!!!

[Jynx]

@Captain24 could you watch stuff on your phone? That's what I do, or my ipad. It makes it even less intrusive cos it's got such tiny speakers. I just got netflix on my phone tho so if you don't use streaming services it might be trickier! Surely there's a tv app by now, right? 

Watch out, I literally can't sleep WITHOUT white noise now 😅

Pie n chips!! Classic. What's your sauce of choice? 

[Captain24]

I guess I better have another try and focus on that. @tyme. Sorry I got it wrong. I’ll give it another go.

[Captain24]

I’ve got tv apps on my phone but I don’t know if they stream. @Jynx.

My meds help me sleep but they are the ones I’m coming off. I’ve managed to sleep all day for the last few days though. It’s mostly all I’ve done. 

I have listened to white noise a fair bit. If that becomes a habit at least it’s a healthy one. 

It was a potato pie. I don’t do sauce on pies. I can’t stand tomato sauce it makes me heave. 

[Captain24]

I went out and did it properly this time @tyme but I just cried. I can’t seem to get it right. I’m sorry I failed you

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 , there are so many self-deprecating thoughts here - are they helpful?

There is no right or wrong. You are not a fail. Give yourself some breathing room. I wish I could be there with you and support you to ground yourself.

[Captain24]

Sorry about that @tyme. I don’t mean to and no they aren’t helpful. But I can’t help it. I’ll take more care. 

I wish you were here too. I could really do with some help right now. I’ve got nothing for 10 days. 

Got anything else I can try. I’ve already had a bath today. I’ve tried box breathing and a lot of time in bed. I did manage to do quite a bit around the house though. But I don’t remember this morning. I even posted and don’t remember it. 

[Jynx]

Agree with @tyme  - hey @Captain24 you got it 'right' because you tried. That counts more than anything!! 

Oh whaaaat tomato sauce and I go way back. Fussy eater as a kid, checkin in - chicken nuggies and tomato sauce was my safe food ahaha. Potato pie sounds delicious if it's a sheppard's pie, but for some reason initially I just pictured... a pastry FULL of mashed potato 😱🤣

What's on for you over the weekend? 

[Captain24]

I’ll try anything so I try and be safe @Jynx. right now I don’t feel it. 

We had certain meals on certain days. Meat and veg, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday. Veg was potato and pumpkin mashed together. I use to heave at the thought of eating it.  I wish I could have had nuggets and chips .

It was a meat pie with potato on top! 

No bbq tomorrow night so that’s a relief  but we are having lunch in the park. That’ll be easier though. Nothing for me to do and my space not being invaded. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 wish I could scoop you up in a squishy hug of safety! 

OMG you had to endure the pumpkin-tater mash? Hats off, that is rough lol. So when I was little I REFUSED to eat pumpkin, and one time mum mixed it into the mash potato to try to trick me into eating it - told me it had carrot in it or something. Soon as I realised I nearly heaved!! Alas, poor mum didn't realise she had just made it worse lol. Kent pumpkins and I still are NOT friends! But I actually do love a butternut squash hehe. Oven roasted only!

Ooh I learned a thing about this actually - if it was beef topped with mash, it's a cottage pie, but if it's lamb topped with mash it's a shepphard's pie!! 

Oh thank GOODNESS!! You can keep your space sacred this weekend, much of the gladness 😊