I can’t cope

[AuntGlow]

Good evening @Captain24. Ru-bee has left for the night, but I am here and would love to support you. 💛

It sounds like you have had a really busy day - you've done so much organising and preparing. I would honestly be overwhelmed too... it's exhausting. 

Let's just take things slowly. What is the very next step you need to take? 

[Captain24]

Before all that i bathed the dogs, did all the ironing, had a shower and washed my hair. I made and cooked rissoles for work lunches and I had a psych app. @AuntGlow 

I feel like I’ve been on the go all day. So much stuff. So much overwhelm 

I’ve just cleaned the island bench so that’s ok until I pull the silverside out of the slow cooker and I’ll make more mess. I still have the other side of the kitchen to clean. The veggies still have ages. I still have to figure out how to make white sauce. 

I don’t know what to do next. It’s all too much. It’s all racing around in my head and won’t stop 

[tyme]

Elllo @Captain24 ... I'm here for a little bit. Sounds like your brain is ticking ticking ticking? I've only read your last 2 posts or so.

I need to vent a little.

[Captain24]

Hey @tyme 

Vent away!!! 

[tyme]

I don't want to burden you though if you are already stressed @Captain24 

[Captain24]

I’m calming down as I’m getting things sorted. I’m nearly done. @tyme 

Im good.. spill

[AuntGlow]

You have absolutely slayed self-care today, I am so impressed! @Captain24 

But yes, you are allowed to slow down (even when you haven't done a lot). 

Where are you up to now? ☺️

Also, hello @tyme! 💛

[Captain24]

I’m just doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. I’ve eaten and packed lunches. Set the dishwasher and then I’m done. @AuntGlow 

Over reaction much ???

[tyme]

I told you I had a training session yesterday and today. Yesterday, the facilitator pulled me aside and asked why I looked so disengaged (I wasn't, even if I looked it). Then today, in front of everyone, she turned to me and told me to close my laptop and show some respect. When she said that, I was fuming inside.

In the 21st century, people need to know that people learn differently! I was so hurt and upset by her comment.

At break time, I met with the program co-ordinator, and I told her that I was neurodiverse and that I learn differently to others. For me, I need to be doing something so that I don't get overstimulated by the lights, sounds and glare in the room. She understood, and I think she spoke to the facilitator.

So in the next session, she went over "Barriers to learning" and asked me to speak about my barriers to learning. I gave her my personal story that all my life, as a child, people thought I was stupid and I was a brick because there didn't seem to be anything registering in my brain.

I shared that people set very low expectations of me and never thought I'd amount to anything. However, when I got the chance to learn in the way I learn best (fidget, play with things, look lost), I absorb everything, even if I don't look like I am.

I emphasised that we don't all learn in the same way, and just because I don't look like I'm listening, it doesn't mean I'm not!

So from there, the faciliatator changed her tune.

I'm glad I had the chance to speak about neurodiversity. 

I'm thinking of emailing the facilitator later (maybe tomorrow)... @Captain24 

Yeah... so that's my vent...I was the 'dumb' kid in class that would never amount to anything....

[Captain24]

That’s so harsh @tyme. I would be fuming too. To be singled out and treated with such disrespect. 

I don’t blame you for being upset. If they had concerns at least do it one on one. Not in front of everyone. 

Yes people learn differently. Last time I was in hospital all through the course a girl was on her iPad. That’s how she stayed engaged. 

Im glad the co-ordination was much more understanding. 

At least you go to explain different ways of learning but you shouldn’t have to. 

You shouldn’t have had to relive what happened as a child. Especially in a training session. I hope the facilitator was much more supportive. 

Yes you may have been that child at school but look where you are now. Look at what you have overcome to get to where you are. So many degrees a research project. All you do with SANE above and beyond the forums. They even sent you overseas to represent them. 

I’m glad you got to speak about it just not in the way that it happened. 

If you’re up for it I would email. The disrespect she showed. The call out. The need to understand. 

Have you had time to do self-care.

Im pleased you felt comfortable enough to share.