Lived Experience Forum

[Snowie]

No need to be sorry @creative_writer 

We only do what we can.

Is there anything you want/need to talk about?

[creative_writer]

@Snowie I am actually really scatteredminded right now, maybe uni overload. Stress does things to the brain. I don’t even think I absorbed everything when catching up on the forums, so if I’ve missed something that’s why. I am happy to talk about whatever you want

[Snowie]

Stress can have quite an impact on our brain @creative_writer It can affect us so much both physically and mentally.

Have you been doing anything today?

[creative_writer]

@Snowie probably too much adrenaline, and goodness I’ve forgotten how to spell 😂.

Nothing exciting. I washed clothes and put the blanket in the same lot because I was too lazy to wash them separately. Are you up to much this evening?

[Snowie]

Main thing is that they are washed @creative_writer Doesn't matter how they got there.

Am hoping tonight consists of couch, blanket, cuppa and a little tv. Might try and stay awake for a movie! Have really been into movies lately that are based on WW1 or WW2.

What sort of movies do you like watching?

[creative_writer]

@Snowie a cuppa with tv sound nice. I haven’t seen many movies based off wars. I tend to watch different types of movies ranging from period drama to superhero to kid movies. What movie are you planning on watching tonight?

[Snowie]

Sorry @creative_writer fell asleep on the couch 😴 Woke up about 1 and got into bed.

I hope last night went ok for you.

Have you got any plans for today?

Hi also @NatureLover, hoping today goes ok for you. How are you doing?

[Snowie]

Hi @PinkFlamingo 

I will respond to you on this thread so I am not taking over the other one.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me. Your words help a lot.

I didn't realise that you have just started with a new psychologist. I really hope that this new psych is a good fit for you and that you can continue to them. We sometimes really have to go through a few before we find one that we click with.

That was a really brave thing to do to start EMDR straight away, especially when it is over zoom. I really hope that it helps you. I know you are still in the early stages of it, however if they have gone well, well I guess that is a good start. Also pleasing to hear that you are able to verbalise with her with such an open dialogue. Trust is so hard to give, especially when we have trauma in our past. You have been so brave to give her that trust at the start of this process. I really am in awe of you.

I also see my psych fortnightly but see her in person. She seems very attentive to me, she can normally read how I am just from my body language. She knows about my past trauma, just not details. My past is very complicated due to a number of reasons, that it can be hard to know where to start too. It is a bit of a drive to her office but if she can help than I guess it is worth it.

Once again, thanks for the reply. It is good to know that someone else is trying EMDR too.

[PinkFlamingo]

Hey there @Snowie 🌺🙂💜

No worries - happy to chat wherever you feel most comfortable 🙂

It’s a pleasure Snowie - more than happy to chat about EMDR, and I’m glad it’s helpful 🌺

Thanks so much regarding this new psychologist; within a few minutes of listening to her, I could tell she has her own lived experiences, is invested in what she does, and has no ego in what she does 🙂

she’s probably a bit older than me, and is such a caring person. In a way I feel like she’s a really good fit because she’s ever so caring, and I’m actually quite world-hardened from life and living around the world in some difficult places at times. If I’m working with people that aren’t openly kind and compassionate, I tend to remain like a bit of a fortress, emotionally, since that’s what I’m used to.. 🌺

anyway, 🙂 I wanted to say thanks so much - I genuinely appreciate your words regarding trust and taking that leap of faith… that is something I’ve worked on to cultivate, giving trust to people. I have come to the gentle conclusion that there’s no need to compromise my own ways of wanting to live, which one thing I want to do is be able to trust people, and I want to do that by balancing the risk of doing so with the rewards that could be gained by giving trust. I do it because I don’t want to let anyone hold me down anymore, in terms of how I choose to live my life - being free to trust, despite what life has taught me…no more control of my heart or head 🙂🌺💜 the only thing I try of do is choose wisely, who I trust, and who I should maintain a boundary with 🙂

I hope that makes sense..? 🌺

Sounds like your psychologist is really aware of picking up on how you feel through non-verbal cues.. that sounds good and helpful, in terms of meeting you where you’re at, when you see her 🌺 

I can relate to finding it very hard where to start when discussing trauma.. I always worry about what I should say, and how people will react, and if I don’t start at the way back beginning, things can sometimes sounds really confusing and not make sense, because much of the trauma is interconnected through time and space. It’s not easy getting help - a trauma story doesn’t seem to exist in isolation, so that makes explaining things a very difficult task logistically, let alone the emotional strength it takes to bring this stuff to the fore and put ducks in rows, I tend to think 💜🌺

more than happy to chat about EMDR after the next appointment, if you’d like that?

i hope you are doing ok this arvo, and your evening goes well 🤗🌺💜

[creative_writer]

@Snowie last night was okay. A bit headachy now, but it’s okay, it’s probably because it’s been stressful with uni. I’ve had to change my topic because I was not finding much before.

Your psych sounds very attuned to you. I get that discussing details can be hard, I don’t always go in great detail either. I’ve had moments where I’ve questioned things and never told my psych. I’m actually really confused about whether what I experience it’s just a minor thing or much more significant than I wanted to consider it to be. My brain tries too hard to rank the severity of trauma so it can get an idea of how I should react. I don’t even know how bad it was, to be honest, so confused. What is considered really bad? And what is a milder form of trauma? It’s hard to explain on here, I can’t say too much.