06-11-2017 11:43 AM - edited 10-10-2018 02:10 PM
06-11-2017 11:43 AM - edited 10-10-2018 02:10 PM
06-11-2017 11:47 AM
06-11-2017 11:47 AM
06-11-2017 11:50 AM
06-11-2017 11:50 AM
06-11-2017 11:52 AM
06-11-2017 11:52 AM
06-11-2017 11:57 AM
06-11-2017 11:57 AM
06-11-2017 03:13 PM
06-11-2017 03:13 PM
Hi @Former-Member
Thanks for setting this up - I imagine this will be helpful to many people as well as @Chill_Out - I am hoping so
You are most welcome @Chill_Out - losing your baby has to be devastating - there was a life and you had every expectation and that life is gone -
I had several miscarriages and often wonder where those lives went - sometimes I think I could imagine forever that way
My son died when he was a teenager - and I remember the first year and more of that loss as traumatic - as the years pass it becomes less so - that I can assure you - but nevertheless that loss will be with you forever and it is an honour to grieve those we have lost - that's what I believe anyway
I am glad you have found us - you can be very open here because it is entirely anonymous and I do hope you share your thoughts here as you pass through the dark times
Bless you
Dec
06-11-2017 04:59 PM
06-11-2017 04:59 PM
@Former-Member Thank you for this thread. I know this was the hardest thing I have ever been through when our son was still bourne it took me a long time to feel normalish again and I still think about it a lot. For me it was 22 years ago we had a prety much perfect pregancy untill we went to hospital at 39 1/2 weeks with my wife in labour. They put the doppler on my wife and could not find anything. That was the how we found out I still cry thinking about it.
06-11-2017 06:29 PM - edited 06-11-2017 07:12 PM
06-11-2017 06:29 PM - edited 06-11-2017 07:12 PM
Hi @Owlunar, glad you found us ☺ was gonna tag you soon if ya hadn't. We need to know we can survive as long as you have done, what is it now? 30yrs?
Several miscarriages must have been so hard Dec. x2 was enough for me, my first major depressive episode & hospital admission occurred after the 2nd one (4months). I too "imagine forever" where they'd be today, but know they're soul is in heaven. And your son, so tragic.
Yes, that first year or two is by far the worst, so traumatic. I'm in my 6th year of loosing my beautiful teen girl - I have settled on the inside a lot but I think too - we just get use to it. Maybe finally accepting that all the love & grieving in the world doesn't bring them back. Oh I wish it could.
I'm not sure @Chill_Out receives notifications here but I'll chase her up. Thanks Dec 💜💜💜
06-11-2017 06:51 PM - edited 06-11-2017 07:02 PM
06-11-2017 06:51 PM - edited 06-11-2017 07:02 PM
Hi @Ant7, Sorry you lost your little son, its so unfair. Thank you for joining in here. I'm sure you can be a comfort for @Chlll_Out's similar loss.
You said:
"this was the hardest thing I have ever been through"
"it took me a long time to feel normalish again"
" I still think about it a lot (22yrs later)
"perfect pregancy untill labour at 39 1/2 weeks, they put the doppler on my wife and could not find anything. That was the how we found out"
"I still cry thinking about it"
Oh Ant7, I'm tearing up with you. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. And what a shock that moment must have been.
Did you have to help your wife through the labour? That would be so hard knowing 😞
22yrs back they would have let you nurse him hopefully. Did you? Were you glad to have that moment? or do you think its made things harder? I use to be a midwife and often wondered about this.
Don't feel you have to answer questions if too hard. I understand.
Stay strong brother 💜💜💜
You are very brave telling your story.
💜💜💜
07-11-2017 12:27 AM
07-11-2017 12:27 AM
Hi @Ant7
I am sorry to hear about the still-birth of your baby son 22 years ago - my thoughts and prayers for you and your wife about this - 22 years sounds like a long time but it does pass and the years continue to pass and there are days when the loss can be as fresh as the day it happened
It's past 31 years for my son @Former-Member and Ant - it gets easier but right now his 48th birthday is approaching and he is not a man in middle-age but a boy with acne - a troubled, beautiful and lost young man/boy -
We never forget - and Lapses - I do hope that @Chill_Out comes back and finds this - being a bereaved parent is not a group of people anyone wants to belong to but here we are - and it is good that we find each other because we can support each other when things get hard - and I do believe that we will feel the loss for all your lives - it becomes part of us - but the days are not always hard nor do all the memories haunt us
We had the expectations - and they were dashed - for those who have miscarried or have still-born infants - even neo-natal death - have all lost their dreams of that life - those of us with children who have lived longer have memories -
But we have this in common - we have learned though out experiences - and what has happened makes us into better people
Dec
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, support, and referrals, contact SANE Support Services
SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health
SANE - ABN 92 006 533 606
PO Box 1226, Carlton VIC 3053