Anxiety causing the feeling that my throat is closing

[D1ng0]

Hey everyone, I'm dealing with some anxiety symptoms and it'd be interesting to know whether you folks relate. Advice would be awesome, if you have insights from your own life, but solidarity/empathy would be great either way.

(Content warning if needed: Panic attacks, reactions to medications, medical trauma.)

I started having panic attacks when I was a teenager. I'm much more depressed than anxious nowadays, so I no longer experience them, but the anxiety is still there. It's just a "quieter" form of anxiety that isn't as noticeable from the outside, but can still control my thoughts/mood/etc. Anxiety makes me internally obsessive, even if other people aren't seeing that.

When I'm anxious, I often feel like my throat is closing up. I have to logically prove to myself that it isn't; I breathe slowly, I repeat a mantra to prove that I can speak, eat something to prove that I can swallow, and hope that my brain accepts that I'm not actually suffocating. It's an awful fear that keeps coming back. I go through this several times each week.

Can anyone relate to that panic about your throat closing up, even though it isn't?

How do you deal with anxiety distorting your perception of things?

For me, this fixation started after I had an anaphylactic reaction in hospital. I'd never had one before and it was terrifying. But things got even worse about a year later, when I had another bad reaction to a medication... and the nurses/doctors completely ignored the reaction. I was left to thrash around and drool, alone in a hospital bed. I couldn't speak, focus my eyes, or close my mouth. Since then, this fear that my throat is swelling up has really affected my life. It's like my brain has linked those traumatic events with my teenage experiences of panic attacks which made it hard to breathe. Anxiety screams that I'm in danger and can't breathe.

There's so much going on that I kinda just... ignore this issue. I have to prioritise more serious, life-threatening stuff with my therapist. So I'm making this post in the hope that someone here will relate. Or just offer some kind words 🙂

Thanks to anyone who comments. Hope you're doing okay.

[MJG017]

Hi @D1ng0.  That sounds really difficult to deal with, but I can see why those bad reactions in hospital and being ignored like that could cause these panic attacks.

I've only had panic attacks in my life and both in the past 2 years.  So I don't have a history of dealing with them but enough of a 'taster' to know how damn awful they are.  It's hard to control anything and I felt I just react rather than think.

Mine were both related to needing an MRI scan. 

About a week before this scan, I woke up about 3.30am and started to think about it and thought about being loaded head first into this tube and not being able to move.  I felt like I didn't want to do it, but I knew it was coming up and I couldn't avoid it and the panic just overwhelmed me.  I had to throw the covers off myself as I felt them closing in on me.  Then even the darkness seemed to be closing around me so I had to turn the light on.  Then even lying on the bed was too much so I got up and walked around a bit trying to regain control of my breathing.  Never having experienced anything like this it scared the hell out of me!  I went back to bed about 10 minutes later... but kept the light on.  I played some puzzle game on my phone to distract my mind and then read some news.  I then noticed it was getting light outside so I must have been laying there with the light on looking at my phone for a couple of hours.

Then I had to go and have the scan and just before as they loading me into the MRI machine I decided to open my eyes and have a look to see how close the top of the tube was to my face.  I shouldn't have done that!  All of a sudden I could feel this irresistible urge to move.  I tried to calm myself but as I was fully inside I realised my finger was hitting the panic button they had put in my hand before I had even thought of pressing it.  I didn't seem to get a lot of sympathy from them and was told I could come again at a later date and try again.  I just wanted to get it over with so I asked for a few seconds and then tried again.  This time I kept my eyes closed.  The inside lights up so even with my eyes closed I could see the light around me and it was enough to stay in control... just.

Then a couple of months later as I was being prepared for surgery, that had given me some injection straight into the base of the spine.  Some sort and anesthetic I think.  I layed back and since my arms were both point out any away from me as they had just had tubes put in them, I tried to use my legs to adjust myself on the bed.  I found I now couldn't move my legs so I couldn't move at all and I started to feel that panic rising again.  Luckily this time, the general anesthetic must have kicked in and I went under. I'm sure that saved me from another panic attack.

So I get how some things, big things or even small things, can trigger the most intense reactions.  I've gotten really anxious about stuff before, lots of times, but nothing close to those reactions.  I was pretty stressed at the time.  I had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer, the MRI was to help with the biopsy and the surgery was the prostate removal so it was a pretty stressful time so I still wonder if that was the reason for these attacks. 

If it's cold the cat will sometimes just on the bed and lay down on my feet. I don't have these bad reactions, but I still then feel this intense need to move my feet and I can only last about a minute at most before the cat gets moved.  The mind can be a very strange thing.

I hope you can find some way to control you anxiety soon.  Feeling like you can move is one thing, but feeling like you can't breath must be horrible.  I know some people swear by those deep breathing exercises... have you tried them?  It's hard enough when we have a bunch of stressful stuff going on, but the uncontrollable stuff just makes everything so much harder to deal with.

[Lustig]

Heya Dingo… sorry to hear this has happened buddy. I can relate to the feeling for sure… the feeling of ‘globus’ or something blocking your throat or feeling like it’s closing is fairly common with anxiety I believe, but having it associated with a previous anaphylactic breathing issue must make it much harder to handle.

I’m guessing now you’re falling into an anxiety loop with a trigger and a persistent ongoing obsessive stress (the memory and fear of the breathing causing a ptsd-like reaction) which is TOTALLY understandable given how scary breathing issues are.

The problem is, as soon as you think about it at all now, you’re immediately remembering the fear, which makes anxiety spike and symptoms start or worsen. So, even if your throat WASN’T feeling overly tight before you thought about it, now that the anxiety is pre-primed through your memory and fear, your throat will almost certainly START to tighten (or worsen) as a now freshly triggered symptom of anxiety.

Also remember, you may have other conditions that can occur with anxiety/depression (such as oesophageal reflux) which could cause a tightness in your throat for totally unrelated issues, but once you notice it, it will trigger the same loop because it’s a common symptom and your brain is already on alert searching for signs you’re having a throat /breathing issue. So maybe think if the globus feeling could ALSO being caused by something other than anxiety or a physical blockage - you might have reflux and acid in your throat is causing a physical reaction that feels identical to your panic throat but is in fact unrelated??
(This happens to me - my reflux causes throat issues and if I’m not mindful, that can set off the ‘somethings wrong’ trigger in my head without me knowing why, and suddenly I’m in an anxiety episode without realising it was just reflux.

I don’t have any magic solutions of course, BUT I’d try a couple of things in the short term.

1. Get a cold washer and use it to trigger the mammalian dive reflex - I find the easiest way is with a cold wet washer on my face with my head between my legs. (https://youtu.be/HjgFHHeV3so?si=n_Rtj5wTtmb-pZIh).

2. Concentrate on breathing in a relaxed manner - breathe out for 2-3 seconds longer than the in breath each time. Concentrate on unclenching your jaw (it could well be clenched TIGHT) and breathing through the nose slowly (if you can) - teeth slightly apart and tongue on the back of the to teeth.

If you can try to concentrate on actively DOING these things (ie paying attention to the breath timing with counting… feeling the washer/water) it can help you focus less on the fear of your throat closing which will in turn ease symptoms (or at least reduce them escalating) which will definitely make the experience a little easier than it would be if you just got overwhelmed.

Hope it helps a bit.

Stay compassionate with yourself. 👍

[rav3n]

hey @D1ng0 hope today's been a lil better for you. 

definitely relate to those anxious feelings and those obsessive thoughts taking over - it sucks having to deal with that weight constantly, sorry you've had to experience them 😕

breathing techniques are a hit or miss for me - recently the one that works best for me is taking 2 deep breaths in and then one deep breath out (in in out). i saw this video once where this person said to place your hand over the body part you're feeling the anxiety in (i.e. your chest, throat, heart, stomach, etc), take some deep breaths and tell yourself (out loud) your safe and okay. it's supposed to help your mind and body connect - feel free to give it a try and let me know if it works for you!

i also like feeling pressure like hugs (or if you don't want to hug someone, you can hug a pillow/plushie) - pressure against my chest from that hug relieves some of the tension sometimes.

anxiety is one of those mind-body battles that does take time and trials to find out what works for you - and i can see you're really trying hard to find some new ways to cope and regulate - so proud of you for reaching out and making this effort, its definitely not easy to do. it may feel like a slow process but you're on the right track 💗

[D1ng0]

Hey @rav3n, thanks so much for offering me support. Today has been up and down a lot. I wish I was doing something exciting/social on a Friday night, but I'm so exhausted that I'm just desperate to sleep lol

Thank you for the kind words and the suggestions! The breathing tactic of resting a hand against a body part has helped me calm down when in pain, but I've weirdly never thought to try it for my neck, since I already feel like there's too much pressure on my throat. Never occurred to me. I will give it a go though, and see what happens.

I would definitely love a real hug, but will hug a pillow 🙂 Maybe it'll help. Cheers

Thank you, that does mean a lot. I usually feel like I'm failing at everything (especially tonight), so it's nice to be reassured. My mental health will properly improve once my pain disorder has been properly diagnosed tbh. I've recently been referred to yet another pain specialist, I think it's the sixth one now, and I'm torn between hoping for the best and protecting my mental health from yet another misdiagnosis/malpractice crisis. So that's part of what's going on.

Anyway, thank you for reading :'-) Have a good night

[D1ng0]

Hey @MJG017, thank you for sharing your experiences with me, it's fantastic that you haven't had to experience that intense panic again. Regardless of what I'm going through, I'm still glad I don't experience panic attacks nowadays either. And the situation you describe with your cat reminds me of how sleep paralysis felt, so there's another thing I'm glad I don't experience... Silver linings, I guess?

I've tried a whole bunch of different breathing exercises for pain and panic. I think there are endless approaches out there and I'm often learning something new. I'm always down to try something new (pseudoscience aside), which is part of the reason I made this post. I'm interested in what people would recommend. But tbh I think I'll be unwell for a long time. My chronic pain condition still hasn't been properly diagnosed or treated, and I'm managing my eating disorder mainly on my own. Those are the two big ones. In the meantime I think I'm just enduring my anxiety, I don't know if I can control it. But I'm definitely trying. And thank you again.

[D1ng0]

Hey @Lustig, thanks heaps for your advice, it's genuinely helpful. I'd never heard the term "globus sensation" before, and it's weirdly reassuring to have a name for it. Because maybe I'll be able to tell myself, "there's a word for this sensation, I'm not suffocating". There's medical articles about this sensation and everything. Apparently it's pretty common? Which actually does make me feel better. So, thank you a lot for that.

Thank you for telling me about your experiences with reflux, and how your brain flips the "something's wrong" switch in response to sensations. I definitely have heartburn, and dust/pollen have always made my throat glands swell up, so there's probably some of that there too. Normal sensations which make the alarm bells ring.

Thank you for the recommendations, I'm really grateful that you took the time to comment 😊 Hope you have a good night.