I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Thanks for checking in @Ru-bee.

Things are really bad. I mean really bad. 

I’ve taken my night meds. So hopefully I go to sleep soon. The sooner the better. I wish something was wrong with me so I could go to the hospital and get a certificate for time off. I need it badly. 

Im just not safe to drive to and from work. But alas it has to happen. I’ve taken some OTC meds that show up in drug tests so just parting I get tested. But probably not on a Friday night. 

[Ru-bee]

Okay, I'm hoping you get some sleep soon too @Captain24 

It sounds like you've got a good awareness of where you're at right now and are able to recognise that going into work tonight doesn't feel safe. That self-awareness is good.

Would the hospital do a certificate for mental health? If not, could you reach out to your GP? You can even get medical certificates online these days. 

I think it's really important that you've identified that you're not okay, that going to work today would be unsafe, and that you need the night off. It's not easy to acknowledge these things, believe it or not it does take guts. So how about we honour that courage and focus on taking care of yourself tonight?

[rav3n]

hey @Captain24 just popping in to sending you some love - i hear it's been really rough, and i hope getting some rest helps a lil. we're here for you 💗

[Captain24]

I’ve just woken up. @Ru-bee @rav3n 

Im really not feeling great but I have to go to work as there is no way of getting a medical certificate. I’ve never been online. But work is limiting them as well and I need one after having yesterday off.

I really don’t think it’s safe for me to drive but I just have to risk it. 

[Ru-bee]

Are you feeling any better after your sleep @Captain24 I hear you're still not feeling good, but did rest bring even a little improvement?

Hmm I understand it's difficult with the medical cert. If you do need to drive is there anything that makes you feel a bit safer?

I'm finishing up my day having to go into a meeting so I might not be able to reply, but I'll be thinking of you 💜

[Captain24]

A little better @Ru-bee. I still want to leave this world though. 

There is no other way to get to work than drive. I don’t have any friends that I can scab a lift off. I just have to do it. 

I can try grounding and box breathing. It’s all I got. 

[rav3n]

@Captain24 ugh that's so frustrating that your works limiting the online certs!! i've gotten a few online certificates before, i find it much easier to use esp if my GP is busy or i can't get out of the house - you just answer a couple questions through typing (things like what's happened, symptoms, dates you'd like the certificate for, etc) takes like 2-5 mins to finish, and then the certificate is emailed within 24 hrs (or if you want it faster, you'd pay extra). just thought i'd share if you're ever interested in the future. 

i'm so sorry you feel that way, i wish i had the power to make things feel lighter for you. grounding and box breathing techniques sound good too - stay safe and take care 💙

[Captain24]

I’m home from work. I did drive safely it was hard and I did a lot of breathing trying to reduce my distress. @rav3n @Jynx 

I feel a little better. While I still want my life to end I’m not going to end it. So I guess you could say it’s an improvement. 

[edited by moderator]

My shift was ok. I got bogged but other than that it was uneventful. Just what I needed. I couldn’t have handle a rough night. 

[edited by moderator]

[Jynx]

How you going this evening, O' @Captain24 my Captain?

[Captain24]

Hey @Jynx 

Ive had an awesome sleep. I’ve only just woken up. 

Im feeling quite a bit better. 

Im wondering if it’s withdrawals from the medication that I’m dropping. 

Hope you have had a good day