Overwhelming Grief for Bast

[Former-Member]

He was different Bast , unique.I understand the emptiness.

[utopia]

@Bast. Your furbaby bast looks and acts like a wild tiger. Amazing gymnastic ability. And gorgeous looking.

[Bast]

Hi @Former-Member@utopia@Queenie@Sans911@MagicAnt@carebear@thevorticon@sans911@Nik Nik@Niqueeta

The importance of love from a beloved feline can never be understimated I adored the lion/lioness forehead kiss so much - it is real. 

A Bast story to share

Bast was radical in every way, he learnt how to open my previous fridge, the freezer and the pantry doors. He was so smart and influencial - he led my cat Oracle (large, deaf & persian) into supporting his projects. They would use the power of 2 to force the doors open. I would arrive home to find cats that looked like beach balls and raided food all over my kitchen floor. I tried stacking heavy tables against the fridge - Bast figured out the power of leveridge - the raiding continued.

As for the pantry, one strong paw repeatedly under the door would eventually open it and lead to cat bliss - chips, twisties and the best thing ever - gravy mix. 

The pantry got a lock hook, the fridge had to be replaced as no amount of child preventative hooks were going to make any difference. 
Bast just looked at the combinations and I believe pretty well sorted the solutions immediately.

I made it through my counselling sessions today - and did the best I could, I know I was not at my best. 

On Saturday as a mature woman, I slept with a teddy bear - the bear got soggy as a result. 

I am currently feeling him and looking for him everywhere although I have tried to send him to the earth,the universe, the environment and the right gods where he will be safe. 

Yesterday was so difficult - cleaning up the Bast debri's - he was an indoor child afterall. I still feel so wrong. 

A strong life has gone and I did it. Is it ever possible to come to terms with this. Is it ever possibe to forgive yourself for what is essentially a killing. The green needle is such a vivid image in my mind.

It is extroidianry to now relise that the work sh... is no longer the issue, I have lost my Bastie Boy, I do get that the workcover thing is a joke. 

My grief is real - my public health employment was unessary torture although I think I am living through ä stay of execution before the next round. 
Roll on the workcover reneging.

Tomorow I will spend some time at Bast's grave, It is like having to "flip switches" in my mind. 

Thank you all Bastless

[utopia]

@Bast. ♥♥♥

[Kurra]

@Bast
You gave your Bastie Boy unconditional love despite his PhD in food theft. You gave him unconditional love throughout his life which extended to placing his freedom from pain before your own needs. There is no greater gift we humans can give to our beloved pets - to Bast. I admire your courage.

I have a soon to be 18 year old dog. I know that final day will come and can't imagine my life without my white dog with greying black spots. How I will do it I don't know but I do know that when her quality of life goes I will ensure that she doesn't suffer. I too am prepared to give her the greatest gift of all come the time.

I'm currently personally dealing with a majir medical condition as well as another extremely distressing situation. Work is my panacea and although I sometimes feel that I'm useless at helping others with their overwhelming issues I know if no better way to cope at a time when my current difficulties far exceed my capacity to manage my life adequately.

Your Bast may no longer be with you in his physical form but he's still with you giving you those kisses you love so much. Try to open your mind to his spirit which is with you in all that you do and say.

Much love and huge comforting hugs. 💕💖💕

[Former-Member]

I agree with Kurra ,he will always be with you,all my animals,who are long deceased are with me,those from my childhood to recent years.It takes a long time Bast,and sounds like he was like my male cat,who lights my life.

[Bast]

@Kurra@Former-Member@utopia@Queenie@Sans911

Hi Kurra and all

I sincerely thank you for your kindess and support. Bastie boy thanks you as well - The reassurance that he is still with me helps. I feel the loss, the strong sense that my home is now empty and different so badly. The sheer outragenous and dynamism of his personality are gone. I so miss the Bast communications. My other furrbabies are also responding. I am trying to find whatever I can to give them. The reminders are everywhere, my children are always protected inside. 

My beautiful white, rescue, deaf persian is still looking for him, they always got up to raiding and damaging together, Oracle is now as lost as I am. My others are also behaving so differently. I am trying to cuddle the uncuddleables as best as I can. They all know.

For me the sadness is enveloping, I have not been able to visit Bast's grave, however I will tomorrow. I have had to squash down how I feel to somehow provide appropriate therapy for the clients that I am working with. 

I feel like I am in a house that has no atmosphere and drowned because Bast is dead. There is no sensation, no warmth and reminders that are now just stuff. The cat tree is still here - what for, for me there are a multitude of what fors. I have the pointy end going on again - what is the point of anything?

At the moment - The big question is why f......... bother. There is no point at all, so just surrender. 

Regards Bastless

[Bast]

@Kurra@Former-Member@utopia@Queenie@Sans911

Hi Kurra and all

I sincerely thank you for your kindess and support. Bastie boy thanks you as well - The reassurance that he is still with me helps. I feel the loss, the strong sense that my home is now empty and different so badly. The sheer outragenous and dynamism of his personality are gone. I so miss the Bast communications. My other furrbabies are also responding. I am trying to find whatever I can to give them. The reminders are everywhere, my children are always protected inside. 

My beautiful white, rescue, deaf persian is still looking for him, they always got up to raiding and damaging together, Oracle is now as lost as I am. My others are also behaving so differently. I am trying to cuddle the uncuddleables as best as I can. They all know.

For me the sadness is enveloping, I have not been able to visit Bast's grave, however I will tomorrow. I have had to squash down how I feel to somehow provide appropriate therapy for the clients that I am working with. 

I feel like I am in a house that has no atmosphere and drowned because Bast is dead. There is no sensation, no warmth and reminders that are now just stuff. The cat tree is still here - what for, for me there are a multitude of what fors. I have the pointy end going on again - what is the point of anything?

At the moment - The big question is why f......... bother. There is no point at all, so just surrender. 

Regards Bastless

[utopia]

It sounds to me like your other furbabies need to grieve as well @Bast. They also miss him.
Keep doing what you can. Hug the others. Cry with them. Keep them company and let them keep you company.
Thinking of you.

[Bast]

Hi @utopia

I am hanging onto your words, the empathy, understanding and support are so meaningful right now. Last night the mature woman needed her teddy again, what am I doing..........? The TB is not Bast. 

My other furrbabies are still wandering around the house lost. I am doing the best I can to support them and provide comfort. It is a 2 way thing. I remain constantly afraid that they are OK and am checking them obsessively. I have concerns about my 12 year old boy and am terrified to take him for a repeat experience. I do know that I will have do this, just still can't reconcile my belief that I killed Bast. 

Everday I drag mysel up and the anxiety, sadness will surge - another panic attack on the way. My memories are so sullied and muddled at the moment. I am overwhelmed by the thought of doing anything and so afraid. 

I get that this is now intertwined with the work fiasco, however my thoughts although torn apart and conflicted are endeavouring to prioritise the loss and the needs of my furrbabies. They are all munching fully through breakfast and dinner - always an important signal for feline health status. 

For me I couldn't care less. 

Bastie Boy

Oracle, P....sy, Articulate, Baby girl and Hecate and I miss you and will love you always.