I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I just download some of that to see if it works @rav3n. It’s playing on my tv now. I’ll try anything. The thoughts are so loud and relentless and getting louder. 

Feed the dogs ✅
Now the ensuite. 

Thank you for helping me out. I really appreciate the support. 

[rav3n]

got my fingers crossed that it helps a lil!! i think the first time i tried it, it was a bit uncomfy to listen to but i slowly got used to it @Captain24 

yay, one task already ticked off! you cleaning the ensuite just reminded me that i need to clean out my closet soon, it's an absolute mess in there 😅

no worries at all, i love doing the accountability buddy stuff - its been super helpful for me too in getting things done.

[Ru-bee]

How's going @Captain24 what are you up to now?

[Captain24]

I’ve just finished it all @Ru-bee @rav3n.

I just have to put the outdoor setting back when everything dries and clean the table. But it doesn’t matter if they decide not to have a bbq. 

I know need to tidy the 3 spare rooms. When I finish that I think I’m done for the day. They should only take about 30 mins. 

I still need to clean the front of the house but it’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I’ll clear off the dining table tomorrow if they are coming. If not my diamond art can stay there. Then all I have to do is tidy my room and do the floors. 

It feels good but I’m so tired. Just have to push through those rooms and then that’s it. 

The music is soothing. Thanks for recommending it. 

[Ru-bee]

Wooo! Go @Captain24 🎉

[rav3n]

@Captain24 omg that's amazing!! 

sounds like a good plan - so the final task for today is the tidying of the 3 rooms right? oh and outdoor part once things are dried. you got this!!!! 

aw i'm glad it was soothing. you're almost done, and then you can snuggle up in bed!!

[Captain24]

I can’t do it. I can’t do anymore. The thoughts are getting too much. I’m really struggling. @rav3n @Ru-bee 

Im running a bath and have a candle burning in there. See if that helps. 

[rav3n]

that's totally okay, we can table the rest of the tasks for another time - you've done so much already today!! time to rest up @Captain24 i hope the bath and candles help with soothing those thoughts and feelings.  

i know its really hard for you right now, just know we're here for you. i'm really proud of you for acknowledging your capacity and working on staying safe 💗

[Captain24]

I’ve had my bath. I’m so tired. I’m so tired that I’m teary. @rav3n. I was just reading back and I saw that I posted this morning but I don’t remember it. I don’t remember what I did this morning. I don’t remember going to bed. I do remember getting up though. 

How can I get better? I’ve tried really hard but my thoughts are still there and getting worse.

Mum rang and there is no bbq tomorrow night so that is good. Just not sure where we are all catching up and when. My uncle said we can go around to where he is staying but I’m just not up to it. Mums going to ring me when she goes to let me know is what is happening tomorrow. 

[rav3n]

not remembering that post just goes to show how extremely tired you are! @Captain24 i've had those days where i could not remember certain things because i was just sooo burnout, it's scary but the good news is, it'll get better with rest. 

that's a relief that you don't have to worry about bbq at yours! do you prefer having things planned out well ahead of times? or is spontaneity okay at times for you?