I can’t cope

[Jynx]

@Captain24 idk, you'd be surprised hun. I've dated plenty of folks who would not be considered 'conventionally attractive' - because I am not really attracted to people based on looks! The demisexual/asexual vibes are strong aha. So like until I start building emotional intimacy with someone, I can't even really imagine wanting to get nakey with them. But then when I start catching feelings it's like... they become beautiful before my eyes. It's weird but I hope it gives you hope 💜

Stir fries were one of the big items for me to push past allll those internal resistances to food. I think cos everything is mixed in together, so like I can't do the 'eat all veggies first then carbs then protein' thingy. I do struggle still when there's unexpected veg in there, so when I make my own it's all just veggies I know I like to eat cooked (I used to REFUSE to eat cooked veg when little. Raw carrot, raw capsicum, raw celery, everything. Well except potatoes lol). 

Maybe that could be your next intention, in a week or so? Do one spontaneous thing? Even if it's just running outside in a rainstorm or taking a different route home from work! 

Ehler's Danlos Syndrome - it's really commonly co-morbid with ASD and ADHD. It's basically that my connective tissue (fascia) isn't stretchy enough which leads to lots of stiffness and soreness. It can also come with hypermobility, super soft, pale, sensitive skin, and other fun complications. 

Oooh noms while watching noms, love it!

[Captain24]

No one would even look twice at me not that I really want anyone to but I would be nice to be noticed at least once. @Jynx 

I still try too. I do my best to separate things while I’m eating it. Not always successfully though. 

I’ll see what I can do. The route home from work is hard as I don’t know where the kangaroos are on the other stretch of road and I drive in the dark. See if I can come up with something before next Sunday. 

That sounds interesting as I have stiff sore muscles. When I walk my calves tighten so much that I can’t feel my feet. But the rest of me is so stiff. I look older than I am. I have really sensitive skin too. I have to be so careful with stuff. 

I’ve had dinner and cleaned up. 

Lots of veggies. That I ate separately. 

 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 honestly I get that hun - as in, it makes sense you don't feel ready to be seen in that way. You're still finding yourself, putting your authentic self together, and so it makes sense that you're not ready for that kind of vulnerability yet. But yes, not being noticed is very painful. It'd be nice to be noticed even if you're not ready for it. Some day you will be though, I totally know it in me bones!

Sigh... I think you and me both are gonna need to start stretching more hey? Cos that is like, one of the best things for stiffness and soreness! 

Haha sensitive skin club checkin in!! Itchy tags are the BANE of my existence! 

DELISH!! And dishes already done? Amazing! 

*glances at my own dishes sheepishly* 🤣

[Captain24]

I’m not sure who I am anyway so I guess no one would want to know me either @Jynx.

I don’t think I’ll ever be noticed. Sorry I’m really hard on myself right now and feel very alone. Even my bestie isn’t getting back to me so I’ve obviously upset her too. I’m just not good for anyone. Well that just triggered a lot and in a very bad way. Gone down that scale a long way. 

The GP gave me some stretched to do but I haven’t done them. I’ll try in my next days off. 

Oh.. itchy tags, wool, soaps, washing powders, grass, loads triggers it. 

They are.. it’s pretty impressive. Now I have a fridge full of healthy food. Here’s hoping I actually eat it. 

So it took you a while with your partners? 

[Captain24]

I’m not ok. Badly not ok

[Jynx]

@Captain24 what am I, chopped liver? 😝

Nah I know there's a bit of a difference in this context. But I do want you to know that getting to know you has been a genuine pleasure. We've known each other years now, how bonkers is that?

Oh hun. I am sorry. Take some deep breaths, and consider that there is a million reasons that your bestie wouldn't respond that have nothing to do with you. She'll reach out eventually. 

We can touch base next weekend and see if we did our stretches hey? Haha accountabilibuddies! 

Yep! Like that whole thing in The Twits about people's personalities shining out is sooooo relevant. Someone will see yours shining out too, once you're ready to shine a lil brighter. It's hard cos there's so much muck to clear from all the crap you've been through. But you're doing the work. And shinier and shinier you shall become hehe. 

I am off!! I shall bid you adieu and see you anon. Please remember that folks can still see your sparkle even on the days you can't. It's always there 💜✨

Niiiight!

[Captain24]

I’m standing here looking at stuff @Jynx 

It has been a couple of years now. 

Maybe one day I’ll sparkle but there isn’t really much in me to sparkle. 

Buddies sounds good. I need help to do them. Laying on the floor is hard too. 

Thnaks

Have a good week

[Jynx]

@Captain24 doin a heckin' concern:

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@Captain24 wrote:

I’m not ok. Badly not ok

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Not skedaddling if you're unsafe hun. Are you worried you may harm yourself tonight?

[Captain24]

I have considered it @Jynx. But not sure if I would or not. I have Pix and Jett to think about

[Jynx]

@Captain24 ty for letting me know hun. Aye, Pix and Jett are next to you now I hope! 

I have soooo much faith in you hun. The forums are here for you, and I know you got it in you to contact a crisis service if things get too scary. Keep connecting, keep taking deep breaths, and keep cuddlin those puppers!! I'll see you next weekend hun, hopefully we will be all stretched out hehe

Goodnight Cap, may sleep find you soon 💜